Thursday, October 11, 2012

Blame, Shame, Ridicule, and Humiliation

You probably never have a problem with this but I often find myself caught in this trap.  When someone thinks differently than I do, or disagrees with me, or acts and lives in a manner in which I do not understand I find it is much simpler to shame and ridicule that person than to try to understand.  After all, my way of thinking is the wisest, and my way of living is best, and everyone should be just like me.  Also, how dare you disagree with me!  I'm always right!  Of course there was that one time when I thought I was wrong but it turned out I was right after all . . . so that doesn't count!  (That was sarcasm for those of you who don't recognize it, not an actual claim that I am always right!)  However, if you choose to think that I am always right I have no objections to that.

The eagle above is magnificent, breathtaking, and beautiful, unless you happen to be the fish he is about to snag!  The tiger to the right is an amazing creature.  He is beautiful, majestic, savage, a force to be reckoned with.  Every tiger has a unique stripe pattern.  When I go to the zoo I can stand for hours, well . . . minutes anyway, staring at this amazing predator.  I can be like both of these when I deal with people.  I can soar in quickly for the kill, or pounce and rip like the tiger.  More amazing, I can do it all with my words!  Even worse, I usually do it deliberately.

Study the picture on the left for a moment.  The butterfly, lovely and delicate, sits on the finger of a mother, and holding that finger is the tiny hand of the little girl carefully studying that beautiful butterfly.  Should I have a truth to share with someone who is unaware of that truth, is this not much more effective than soaring in for the kill, or pouncing and ripping someone apart?  I believe that if I offer truth to others like this loving mother I will be much more effective as a communicator.  The truth is, blame, shame, ridicule, and humiliation are destructive and predatory.  A gentle answer turns away wrath.  The words of the godly are like sterling silver.  The words of the godly encourage many.  Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything!  Wise words bring many benefits, and hard work brings rewards.  Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.  These are all from Proverbs, and words to remind us how we should communicate.

Proverbs 14:21 in the NLT hits us hard.  "It is a sin to belittle one's neighbor; blessed are those who help the poor."  I can't help poor people unless I take the time to get to know and understand them.  Many of them are caught in a vicious trap, thinking that they know, instead of being willing to listen.  Can I help them?  With patience, showing them the beauty of God's truth like the mother showing her daughter the butterfly, I can keep truth out there.  But if I blame and shame, if I ridicule and humiliate, I will lose any ability to communicate truth.

The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing.  But mockers hate to be corrected, so they stay way from the wise. Yet those who have wisdom to share can still lure even the mockers toward truth.  A glad heart makes a happy face.  For the happy heart, life is a continual feast.  If I allow my light to shine in such a way that people see my good works and see that they are from God, and glorify Him, I will lure people toward His truth.  Solomon was right when he wrote that for the despondent, every day brings trouble.  A cheerful look brings joy to the heart; good news makes for good health.  Didn't Solomon say that when people's lives please the Lord, even their enemies are at peace with them?  Living my life with a glad heart, rejoicing, constantly praying, and being thankful makes me appealing, even to my enemies.

The last three pictures have been of painted turtles.  Those who grow up around these beautiful turtles often fail to appreciate their beauty.  But show one to someone who has never seen it before, and they are amazed.  Recently I showed my Western Painted Turtle to someone who had never seen one before.  Listening to them comment on the beautiful bright colors, the contrast of the red against the black, reminded me that what I take for granted, may be for someone the very nugget of truth they need to see the beauty of God's creation, and His truth.  Take nothing for granted!

Solomon said it this way:  The path of the virtuous leads away from evil; whoever follows that path is safe.  We want people to follow that path, to be safe.  Kind words are like honey–sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.  As you communicate truth today, remember the picture of the mother showing the butterfly to her daughter.  Be careful.  I'm going to try to be very careful.  

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