Happy Valentine's Day!

Dedicated to my beloved Cathy

Devotion

by Robert Frost

The heart can think of no devotion,

Greater than being shore to the ocean,

Holding the form of one position,

Counting an endless repetition.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church––a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor––since they're already "one" in marriage.  Ephesians 5:25-28 The Message  I love the way this reads in The Message.  This isn't a one-day effort!  It is a lifetime effort, an every moment of every day effort!  And on Valentine's Day we can celebrate that kind of effort.

Frost's poem, Devotion is one I've always loved.  It reflects the kind of love I'm talking about.  Devotion, two bodies coming together (shore to the ocean), steadfast (holding the form of one position) and eternal (counting an endless repetition).  Cathy and I married in June of 1974 on Saturday, the 15th, a typical Lancaster County, Pennsylvania summer afternoon.  Oddly enough, I remember very little of that day with the intensity I remember seeing this beautiful bride walking up the isle and knowing that the commitment I was making that day was a lifetime commitment of selfless love.  The moment she appeared I realized the enormity of what we were undertaking, and understood that only with the help of the Lord Jesus could I ever hope to succeed.

We were young, crazy in love, and believed that we were ready for marriage and everything it needed.  What we learned along the way was that this commitment to love each other needed lots of hard work, prayer, Bible study, more prayer, and God's loving parenting.  Through it all, despite our shortcomings we kept our love for each other burning brightly, not just a candle, but a roaring forge fire hot enough to allow God to purify and mold us.  We've given each other Valentine's cards, kisses, and "I love you's" for the 44 years we've known each other.  This June will mark our 41st Anniversary of marriage!

We look a little different now.  Our children are grown, and our sons are married and have children of their own.  Serena is thirty now, so she can start dating.  Do I still look at Cathy as the most beautiful woman in the world?  Absolutely.  She is, as far as I'm concerned.  Eat your hearts out, guys!  She's mine!  Does she still thrill me every time I see her?  You betcha!  And what of those verses I quoted earlier?  As to that I learned a very important lesson early in our marriage.  Cathy is not mine. She belongs to God!  He gave this precious and wonderful gift to me, and entrusted to me the stewardship of loving her as He loves us!  I haven't always succeeded in emulating Him in our relationship, but when I fail I apologize and try harder.  Cathy knows that she belongs to God, and that I love her second only to Him.  She loves Him first, and then me.  For that reason she has become an amazing lady, a true woman of God, the very embodiment of Proverbs 31.  She constantly amazes me.

To the right we are walking together after Jeremy and Savanna married.  Note that we are holding hands.  We do that often.  I still thrill to the feel of her hand in mine!  I get a kiss goodbye every morning, and kiss her when she comes home, or she kisses me if I get home after her.  Our lives are all about saying "I love you" at every opportunity.  So when Valentine's Day comes around I love it.  It is one more day to tell this amazing woman how much I love her.  Does this make me the perfect husband?  Hardly!  I still have to work hard every single day to keep from putting self before God.  She does the same.

A hundred years from now, no one will remember either of us.  No one will know what we accomplished, how much we loved each other, how we lived our commitment.  Yet the world will be a better place because this amazing woman left a legacy of love and tenderness.  She taught elementary school for many years, and is now a Principal.  As a pastor's wife she touched the lives of every woman in every church we ever served.  As a mom and grandma she has created a legacy of love and prayer.  Not long ago we were talking and she said that in many ways we have lived charmed lives, and that she believes it was because we had praying parents who loved and followed the Lord.  I agree with her!  The Bible is clear that.  The first few verses of Psalm 112 in The Message read this way:  Hallelujah!  Blessed man, blessed woman, who fear God, who cherish and relish his commandments, their children robust on the earth, and the homes of the upright––how blessed!  Their houses brim with wealth and a generosity that never runs dry.  Happy Valentine's day, honey bunch!  I love you!